Robotszörny

Robot Monster is a sci-fi C-movie in which the sci-fi atmosphere is created by flying bubbles from a bubble wand. If you haven’t seen it, you wouldn’t believe it! (2002.10.03)

Incredibly twisted entertainment, on which the director's incompetence could be taught as a deterrent. To reveal anything about the plot would be to spoil it because this story could be told in ten minutes, not sixty, as Phil Tucker did. The alternation of three exteriors, each competing to look cheaper than the other, a creature in a costume that probably only its wearer feared because it must have been scorching inside, and a bunch of horrible actors, all running around to the accompaniment of Elmer Bernstein's monotonous music. The upside is that it's incredibly funny and infantile in a way that makes it impossible to be angry at this film. However, it's definitely worth seeing because, after this, everyone will reconsider their own definition of what "Boo" means in a film review. (2005.09.24)

One of the most fundamentally un-artistic Zeta films with probably the most ridiculous monster you'll ever see on screen. A robot-gorilla (or rather, an actor in a gorilla costume with a plastic diving helmet with antennae) chases the last few humans on Earth, receiving orders from his planet via a bubble-blower radio. The nonsensical plot, goofy dialogue, continuity errors, recycled footage, and ridiculous acting make this one of the worst movies of all time. Or was it all a deliberate way to portray (spoiler alert) an infantile childhood dream? Hopefully, one day I'll get to see it in its original 3D version. (2002.10.06)

"Doctor, let's put it this way, I saw a strange guy in a fur coat (probably an alien) nuke all of humanity on Earth. Only six people survived: a grandfather, a grandmother, a boy, a girl, a babe and a beefcake. They were the last threat to other dudes in fur coats on some other planet somewhere. And so the one in the fur coat kept walking through some desolate landscape to get them. And I was very sorry for him, walking all the time in that fur coat. Why didn’t he take it off? He's got nukes, he's got a spaceship, and he has to drag himself up the hills? Do you think that’s normal? But he wasn't without feeling, no no. He fell in love with the babe. And so he went after her, but she ran away with the beefcake and they planned their honeymoon. I don't know where they wanted to spend it, but a trip through a ruined Paris, coupled with a tour of the corpses, might not be bad. But I'm digressing… And I also saw a plasma screen made of paper, and I think some nutcase was blowing into a bubble blower, because there were bubbles flying around, but I don't know why. Yeah, and there were also dinosaurs, and… Ouch! Ouch! No, I’m not making it up. I really saw it, Doctor! Let me go, I don’t want a shot! Please! Help…” (2003.08.31)

Or Boo!, I can’t decide. Either way, thanks to this fascinating experience I can finally see everything the concept of “cult” can mean in the world of cinema. And a extraterrestrial conqueror in a gorilla costume wearing a second hand helmet, who with the snap of a finger can defeat the armies of all nations, but goes everywhere by foot, and who’s obviously sweating more than a nerd of a first date, is a cult of cosmic proportions. It was fun all the way until the grand finale. (2020.11.13)