Kobra

Cobra is exactly the typical 1980 action movie. Nobody could emulate this sort of 1980s feel nowadays. Its cruelty, brutality and reality altogether with the perfect lead actor and the heaping pile of amazing lines simply cannot be paralleled by anyone. But what can you really do when the editing looks like it was done by an idiot? In the first shot, the obstacle is just fine, then it’s on fire in the second shot, it’s crooked and not on fire in the third shot and in the fourth shot, it’s crooked, on fire and looking just fine again. The editor was probably a bit too high, but I can’t really say that I was that mad about it. All of the action scenes were real, incredibly cruel and cool as all hell. Sly is downright godly in this movie. He’s really pissed and he looks absolutely tough. At first, he shoots some psycho at a store and then he cuts a 10-day old pizza with a pair of shears. Then he gets a case and he has no trouble saying: “You have the right to remain silent” to someone. Characters used to be like this, but unfortunately, it’s a different era nowadays. I’m still incredibly happy to return to this one to remind myself what taught me to love movies in the first place. (2013.06.28)

Rambo with a police badge and in the jungles of Los Angeles. Sly massaged his ego with a script in which he cast himself as a self-appointed judge, a "cure" for criminals ("You're a disease, and I'm the cure."...... "This is where the law stops and I start, sucker!"), he introduced an awful actress and his then wife Brigitte Nielsen, whom he divorced shortly after filming, and the result is an awfully stupid affair with a very rudimentary plot and incredibly banal dialogues, which thankfully are few and far between, so there's more room for action, especially the final set-piece, where the motorcycle bastards fall like bowling pins and Sly gets to show off his muscles in a tight T-shirt. In a nutshell, the essence of the 1980s. (2003.08.24)

Call Cobra. A typical example of a cheesy 1980s action movie with cool Sly. Contempt for authority, dry one-liners, a screenplay with more holes  in it than a block of Swiss cheese and extreme consumption of ammunition. Where else can you hear great pop music and see bad guys hung on meat hooks? An incredible creation. It's as if Bruce Springsteen picked up an Uzi and started taking out criminals. (2019.07.26)

Though Cobra is breath-taking mainly as one of the most hysterical conservative epics on the theme of frontier justice in American cinema, it also offers a number of somewhat fascinating elements. The project was created as an adaptation of Paula Gosling’s book Fair Game, on which a later film of the same name starring William Baldwin and Cindy Crawford was also based. Cobra thus takes from the source material only the premise of a woman on the run from a killer (a hitman in the original) and the hardheaded cop who protects her. The motifs involving a fanatical sect of cut-throats and a fascist cop who is the cure for a world sick with crime came entirely from the mind of the screenwriter, who was Stallone himself. The stylisation of the film, which evokes the giallo flicks of the day with its bleakness, grittiness and expressive depictions of murder, comprises a chapter in and of itself. Then there is the duo of antagonists, both of whom straddle the line between parody and campy power – at the time, in the context of Stallone and Schwarzenegger’s well-publicised PR feud, there was speculation as to whether the wooden bad guy was meant to be a reference to Arnold’s stiffness, but the more likely explanation is an attempt at portraying the ultra-monstrous essence of evil (which incidentally looks like Arnold ;)). However, Stallone and his hero character give an even worse impression. Without the rose-tinted glasses of boyish enthusiasm through which the character comes across as an extremely tough badass, Marion Cobretti proves to be, from a more realistic perspective, an incredibly ridiculous caricature who combines the iconic attributes of masculinity – John Wayne’s swaggering walk and a matchstick dangling from the corner of his mouth like Chow Yun Fat – with seventies-style sunglasses, ever-present gloves and a bulging package in tight jeans. Upon watching it years later, it is particularly obvious how incoherent and uninteresting Cobra really is. (2015.03.29)