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As the Ottoman Empire collapses throughout Turkey in 1922, a number of adventurers from all over the world sign on to protect the locals from thieves and marauders--for a hefty price. Two such mercenaries are Adam Dyer (Tony Curtis) and Josh Corey (Charles Bronson), who are hired by provincial Turkish governor Osman Bey (Gregoire Aslan). Adam and Josh are expected to protect their boss' gold shipment, and to provide safe conduct for Osman Bey's three daughters. Along the way, our "heroes" decide to forget their mission and abscond with the gold, but their plans are foiled by their own inherent ineptitude--and by the bothersome interference of duplicitious Colonel Elci (Fikret Hakan). You Can't Win 'Em All is best described as a "western with fezzes." (forgalmazó hivatalos szövege)