J*A*S*M

A tedious battle between science and faith set in a courtroom. It’s a pretty long film – by the end I was looking at my watch – the events in the courtroom are quite boring because they are very predictable (you can figure out exactly how the case will develop and what the verdict will be). What is a little bit better are the flashbacks showing a still alive Emily. The entire film has three mildly scary scenes, very little for an almost two-hour runtime, which is a real shame because they are very effective and intense. Formally speaking, there’s not much to reproach: the actors handle their roles perfectly, the characters don’t do anything stupid and the direction is good enough. 70%

It was terrible bullshit, but quite watchable overall (one star for that). The characters behave like morons, the script is laughable and the zombies look very bad (a person with a blood stain around their mouth = zombie). The ending was specially funny, in particular the way they dispose of the infected in a cellar. On the other hand, there were a couple of scenes that showed hints of an atmosphere, and one of them was surprisingly nasty. My rating is 30%. PS: My god! Why did that black guy have to wear a pink t-shirt…?

Weak B-movie bollocks. Did anyone expect anything better? Nobody can take this seriously – it’s clear that not even the authors wanted to. Turn off your brain and watch. And I think I will be avoiding dubbed films for a long time, because here it ruined every potentially scary scene, turning them into poor parodies. The look of the monster was also a problem, they should have kept it covered. 10%

An above-average and stylish B-movie thriller with a demonic Rutger Hauer in the main role. Unlike the remake, this one has an atmosphere that is pleasantly chilling at times. The story is really unpredictable, which raises the question of whether that is due to the genius of the screenwriter or in spite of it.

I don’t mind an abundance of bloody scenes in horror films, but the problem with Live Feed is all of them are gratuitous and the film doesn’t offer anything other than blood (or sex). The plot is non-existent, the characters are forgettable and the gore is satisfactory… if that’s enough for you, watch it, but I prefer other stuff.

A mysterious thriller/drama with brilliant performances and direction that captivated me with its original and sophisticated story. It makes you think about the events on screen both during the film and after it has finished because, even though the twist is easy to understand (if you’ve been paying attention), you won’t be able to put together all the details and make the small connections until later. It’s made for people who don’t mind thinking about a film and coming up with their own interpretation of its final outcome. Those who like soap operas, for instance, shouldn’t even try, it would only lower the rating.

Land of the Dead is a pretty good zombie flick. The story and the atmosphere are better than good in fact, and the old-fashioned slow-moving zombies are much more effective than their current fast version from Dawn of the Dead (even if Dawn is a better film). The scene with the zombies slowly shuffling out from the river is amazing. It’s also a fairly harsh and bloody film, a delight for fans. 70%

I watched Razortooth with feelings that alternated between amusement, incredulity and disenchantment. Amusement over the eager performances of the actors, incredulity with everything the screenwriter managed to come up with, and disenchantment – and almost rage – because someone had the audacity to film that and present it to an audience. Basically, the only thing worth saying about the story and the actors is that they are awful. And the best for last: the most important part of every monster movie is, of course, the monster itself. In this case, it’s giant mutant eels that lurk for their prey in the water, behind shrubs, in rooms and, more often than not, in treetops… The quality of their design is somewhere between intended parody and a several decade old movie. The final fight of man against “man” gave me fits of laughter that lasted until the final credits and it’s the only reason why I will remember this film for a couple of days. Ignore it!

The weakest part of the trilogy hands down. I would love a fourth, serious part of Evil Dead that would return to its horror roots.

Raimi unleashed. Bullshit, but quite fun at that. As horror it’s weak, and as a comedy/parody it left me unimpressed. 60%