Malarkey

The butcher is the best character that Jean Claude Van Damme has played in the 21st century. An amazing, not at all B-grade movie chock-full of action (which might stutter a bit, but not as much), featuring an interesting story and most of all, a perfect execution that Ernie Barbarash really took the trouble with. The movie might be taking place in Kishinev, but I must say that the sets are absolutely amazing. Kishinev doesn’t look too shabby and finally, there’s some different European country in a movie. Sure, the Moldavians might be enraged that the director made their country into one big warehouse of stolen children that are just transiting to be sold in Russia, but the movie was so well-made that they might even swallow that rage down. In any case, every bad person who appears in the movie is Russian anyways. Unexpectedly. No, really. This movie’s great. Apart from Jean Claude Van Damme, there’s also a great performance by Joe Flanigan whom I’ve liked a lot since Stargate and I was also quite okay with Jean Claude’s son, Kristopher Van Varenberg. This was one of the best Van Damme’s movies of the modern day and I must say that I’m sensing a future classic. Finally, a movie I know I’ll definitely watch more times over, right after In Hell and Until Death. What’s more, when it’s on TV, I’ll always be watching. That’s how much I liked it.

A very harsh drama from the lives of Latinos and Mexicans living on the US borders. Tough people make for a tough movie, sometimes even way too tough – a movie that doesn’t pull any punches from the viewer nor the characters. But I managed to form an interesting relationship with the characters and I was also interested in the life of the community that I don’t get to see often. That’s why I watched the whole movie and, in the end, I can say that the two hours weren’t bad at all.

All the actresses that appeared in this movie acted like total idiots. The only weak plus was Gérard Depardieu who appears in the movie every now and then and those women do whatever they want with him. But their behavior was really slap-worthy. Or at least worthy of a proper bikini mud fight so that they make themselves useful. I’ve never seen such stupid bimbos pretending to be the queens of IQ and I must say that they didn’t get any less annoying after 90 minutes, either. Judith Godréche was only lucky that apart from the dressed-up IQ queen, she can also play a succubus who does literally anything she wants to Gérard.

Pleasant characters, pleasant people, pleasant actors. Sure, this could have been said in just two words, but I wanted to highlight the fact that this movie was simply incredibly nice and enjoyable. At times, it was a relaxed comedy, at times, it was a life drama. An American classic in the form of a small movie that tells big stories of several people in the country behind the big pond.

I haven’t really seen that much of Muppets throughout my childhood. It’s true that I was watching Sesame Street every now and then, but I spent most of my time watching Star Trek, Stargate, The Little Mole or Hey, Mister, Let's Play. In any case, I thought it was delightful that America can find such a high number of fans who want to revive this kids’ show. What’s more, this movie is incredibly pleasant and many times, it’s honest, light-hearted fun. I know that Jason Segel who worked on a big part of the movie did a lot here. He’s charismatic. It’s obvious that he does what he does out of pure love for children and this movie is the shining example. The Muppets won’t mean much to us, Czechs, but the movie is still very pleasant and I’m glad I gave it chance.

When I compare Mel Gibson of the present day with the past Mel Gibson, for example in 1994, I’m shocked at the amount of confidence that he was able to put into his acting. Maverick is the shining example. Mel does whatever he wants, even to Jodie Foster, the poker players, and especially to the viewers. He’s frowning at times and then he’s laughing unexpectedly. And the viewers are frowning or laughing along with him. Sometimes, he stops breathing from all that suspense and the viewers do the same. He can simply put so much emotion into his performance. It’s not the same nowadays, but I get him. However, I hope that he gets back into it one day. I really want that for him. He’s an amazing actor. I mean, every single movie he’s appeared in is great. All his characters are memorable in some field or another. Like Maverick is when it comes to poker. He put on such a brutal poker face that he could win the first spot in the international emotionless expression contest. Great. I enjoyed it. It reminded me of Bud Spencer and Terence Hill a bit… just the American way.

So, another Scandinavian movie appeared on Cinemax after quite some time, this time under Sweden’s reign. Based on the description, I found out that it’s some shocking piece that isn’t afraid to show the things that other filmmakers can’t show. It’s about relationships, what else. And it’s all worth a think, for sure. I must say that there were moments I was sure the movie wouldn’t offer, but there was nothing I was downright hoping for. It was mediocre filmmaking and at times, it was fairly boring.

There are still some old cobwebs in my sleeves and so I decided to watch the movie Ransom with my favorite, Mel Gibson. I often think he’s my favorite, but at one point I remembered how many important movies of his I hadn’t ever seen and I thought I must immediately fix that. And so I did. Ransom is overall a precisely done crime investigation movie that’s not downright genius, but it’s solid work for sure. And that’s the most important part. For the entire two hours, the suspense is so thick it could be cut with a butter knife and so it definitely served its purpose.

I mostly went to see this movie because I saw the word “comedy” and I needed to relax. I had no clue that it was a sequel to a fairly successful TV show. Maybe that’s exactly why those four boys ticked me off. Well, downright pissed me off. But as time went on, everything they were doing started actually being funny. I even had a good laugh at times. I don’t know if I ever watch this movie again by choice, but if it’s on TV, I’ll let it play. Oh, and I’d love to watch the show some day, for sure…

A mediocre crime investigation movie that tries to be cool but it’s just average. But if nothing else, 84 minutes is a solid time to handle this – at times agonizing – movie. As far as story goes, it was just lacking. When I think about the fact that I don’t know anyone from the movie, I realize that the only memory I’ll have of this movie will be the fact that it was Spanish. It’s not shocking nor intriguing enough. This movie doesn’t have anything to make me remember it. It’s purely average, but a good attempt for Spain. I don’t remember seeing a similar movie they’ve made.