J*A*S*M

This year, filmmakers are trying to convince fans that Americans are cunts, that they are already in the Middle East and now they are successfully carrying on with their mission in Eastern Europe, in Moldavia to be more specific. The result this time is unbearable to the maximum level, in every respect, and it’s offensive not only to the Moldavians (if the Slovaks popped a vein with the inoffensive Hostel, this should be enough to declare war), but also to every viewer with at least a semblance of taste. I can’t find any reason to give it a single point, and if I could, I would rate it with a negative.

A film so dark that you can’t see anything in most of the actions scenes, and to such extent that it looks as if the cinema was showing a low quality bootleg. The long expected duel between two of the most famous comic book characters unfortunately ends up in a rather uneventful scene (I counted only one interesting moment) where Batman and Superman beat the crap out of each other, only for their conflict to end with an incredibly cheap script cop-out so they can fight together some sort of big-eyed, digital extraterrestrial monkey, created in a weird way for weird reasons (the motivations of the lead villain, hello? Are you there?). Incidentally, you have to wait an ungodly long time for any action to happen, and when it finally happens, either you can’t see anything (as I’ve already said), or it is a confusing digital mess where lightning flashes around the aforementioned monkey, explosions are followed by explosions, and the experience equals zero. And on top of that, Lois Lane gives the right answer to a question form Batman she didn’t hear, or throws a spear into the water so she can dive for it later and almost die, without any dialogue that would reveal its importance or enough information to allow her to figure it out for herself. Disappointment. Probably the only positive thing in the end was Affleck as a grumpy Batman, I would love to see him in another film. PS: I gave Man of Steel 5*)

Disclaimer for fans: if anyone liked this film, I’m glad for them, the problem is mine. Star Wars has never meant anything to me, and The Force Awakens didn’t hype me for any experience, either. The plot is very predictable, I didn’t see anything original o interesting. The variations of the themes of previous episodes may be fun for the fans, but they don’t mean anything on their own. The dialogues are made of empty, nostalgic phrases, the characters have unexplainable deep bonds, even though the story takes place in, what, a couple of days at most? Sometimes this aspect becomes almost a parody, like, for instance, when Kylo Ren says that Han Solo is for Ray the father she never had (even though it seems that they’ve known each other for only a couple of hours), or when Finn and Poe reunite and fall into an embrace almost as if they’ve gone through at least the Vietnam War together, but actually the only thing they’ve done is a semi-successful escape from a ship that can’t have taken more than half an hour. Really, sometimes it feels as if it was written by an idiot, or by someone takes the viewers for idiots. And this sci-fi cancer will now take space at the cinemas for another few years and will employ many young hopeful directors who instead of this could be working on something more meaningful. Great :-/

A disjointed wedding. A film about asking questions and running away from the answers. In an alcoholic haze, the wedding party refuses to deal rationally with the problems of the found skeleton in the closet and the crazy groom is only problematically coming to terms with his past, just like the Polish nation. In an intoxicated sense, Demon is a film told under the influence. It portrays very accurately that state when you are a little aware, a little crazy, bump around the room and fell like outside yourself. Whether some dybbuk spirit gets involved or not, is not that important. It’s art, but the kind of art that it’s gratifying, atmospheric, intoxicating and surprisingly funny – the whole theatre laughed many times. Wrona was a great talent, it’s a pity.

A pleasant and original take on the topic of possession, which doesn’t end with the exorcism, but actually starts there. It’s a pity that the script doesn’t develop somewhat more interesting things, because objectively, it’s not scary, or tense, or even funny. But I still had quite some fun, maybe thanks to the nice visuals. It has style, which counts.

If we were to rate which film needs the most accidents and happy circumstances to fulfil its plot, Remember would be at the top of the rankings. Really, the fact that this revenge worked out more or less the way it was planned is a miracle. But if we leave aside the “likelihood criteria” from the rating (I don’t know how else to call it), the script is great. The highlights are the visit to the third Kurlander and, of course, the climax.

It feels and looks like a (rightfully) forgotten Latino Trash from the 1970s, and I don’t mean this as a compliment. If you are into this kind of poetics, you’ll probably like it. I only liked two or three of the stories, which is very little.

Positives: It isn’t boring. Negatives: All the rest. If My Struggle II took place across the six episodes of the miniseries, it could be fine, but in this way it’s such a rushed chaos that it’s almost ridiculous. The twists are haphazard, Jeff from Community is the one informing about the apocalypse, Scully is forging something in the lab with an unlikeable prude, and I don’t think anyone can know exactly what (of course, an antidote…). I’m willing to forgive the deviation from the mythology, but I won’t forgive what they’ve done with Monica Reyes. And the ending, a not very carefully put together cliffhanger that cuts something in half, as if the power went out. Carter, you’ve really pissed me off.

Nice thing, surprisingly nice, given the director’s work so far. This time he’s been able to elevate himself above the average. Even though The Boy takes place in modern times, it’s a bit of gothic-horror (loneliness in the English countryside, a large and scary house and the doll of a boy that holds something alive and probably sinister). Nicely shot, an eye candy, with a lead female whose behaviour fortunately doesn’t cause any fit of astonishment and ridicule. But it’s rather horror-lite only, don’t expect any intensive terror in any sense. Unlike others, I have no problem with the outcome, though it isn’t something you wouldn’t have thought while viewing, nor is it something we haven’t seen before. Almost four stars, but I think the experience fizzles out soon.

Chris Carter has gone mad! Or how to totally ruin the opportunity to make loyal fans happy after 15 years. Did the creators really believe that this is what we wanted? A stupidly written story about Muslim terrorists, where the paranormal is almost absent, a cringe-worthy trip on ‘shrooms and Mulder and Scully almost without any scenes together. A pointless loss of one episode of six. Sad.