lamps

The exposition is embarrassingly dull and sterile (we only learn that the protagonist is from France and doesn't really like killing anything), but the rest of it pretty much kicked my ass. The first hixploitation since the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre that didn't bore me, physically disgusted me, surprised me, and made me care about the heroes and loath the villains. While stylistically unremarkable and occasionally a little too harsh (don't let the previous sentence fool you, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is somewhere else entirely), Blanks has the film firmly in hand throughout, evoking believable psychological terror and ultimately unleashing an imaginative revenge party that keeps you crossing your fingers for the hot chick and griping surprisingly little about the characters' illogical behaviour or unlikely consequences. And when it comes to physical violence, it has grace and the desired effect (there are two scenes that I'll remember for a long time). I kept telling myself that it would eventually drop somehow and that I could defend a mediocre rating, but it didn't. A small, unassuming, likeable carnage. Horror fans welcome.

For insiders, the name Roger Corman is synonymous with easygoing B-movie entertainment, but that's not entirely true. The St. Valentine's Day Massacre may be mired in brevity and overwhelmed by the number of characters, many of whom are dismissed with just a few sentences from the narrator, but on the other hand it maintains a great pace and adds a pleasing and evocative framework with its unconventional "Chronicle of Deaths Announced" style, especially at the end. I really liked the lively camera rides in mostly interior scenes and the performances (among which Jack Nicholson can be seen for a moment), which puts the film ahead of Martin Scorsese's formal magic, but when compared with the first-rate, more tightly constructed gangster films by Martin and co, I can't give this one more than a very strong 3*.

Unlike the stylistically distinctive and entertaining first episode, this one is "just" a focused and brilliantly acted build-up to a sense of helplessness and inevitability (of what Patrick will become in the future), but it's still hard to take your eyes off of it, and every scene is absolutely correct given the complex psychological portrait of a personality that will surely continue to play a key role in the series. And is it just me, or is Hugo Weaving delivering his fourth iconic villain? He's never been this scary before... 85%

Heavy calibre. As a wise old saying goes, "It's not art to tame pelican once, but to ride it" (okay, not that old), and I don't know of a better film that could so flawlessly put that into practice. The story, brimming with sexuality, keeps you in check the whole time, and you not only can't let go under the weight of the hypnotic dialogues and atmosphere, but you won’t even want to. What is the story about? About unfulfilled desires in life, about a crisis of sexual identity, about the nature of the universe? I can’t say, and honestly, I don’t care, because when someone can so grandly captivate you with the very tone of the narrative and delight you with the most amazing filmmaking art in history, you don't even want to dig deeper into that captivating splendour. The best imaginable epitaph for a brilliant artist and visionary. The erotic séance sequence is more suspenseful and thrilling than the vast majority of horror films ever made. Bravo!

It's actually an incredibly positive and motivational film, not so much because of any family concept – everyone will dismiss the family values stuff with an ironic grin anyway (which is what the story is trying to do, after all) –, but rather for the vulgar and self-reflexive lightness, which brings up a smile that will be broader the more experienced the viewer is – and it’s nice to see an A-level Hollywood production making fun of the clichés and the moral and ethnic "laws" of A-level Hollywood productions in such an open way. What I didn’t enjoy is that it goes overboard with the self-awareness in places, which kills potentially impressive moments, especially around the great Cable, but all in all I had a good time, absorbing all the bold innuendo with gusto and watching with interest how the filmmakers, in a little chaotic and simplistic way at times (the opening and the ending), but mostly thoughtfully, manipulate the possibilities and structure of their fictional world, which also transforms into a commentary and reflection of Western pop culture depending on the situation. At times I felt that the motifs could produce more punchy and rich humour (for example, the obvious Terminator inspiration is done away with in one line), the constant dick jokes sometimes annoyed me, and to rate it better, there shouldn't be so many deaf spots or repetitive techniques. In sum, the winner is definitely number one, which had a more coherent effect on me, the second one is very funny, but the narrative is more cumbersome. 70%

Gibson has undoubtedly achieved what he set out to do, and it can’t be denied that the film has a powerfully immersive atmosphere and an impressive level of craftsmanship in some moments. Unfortunately, however, it fails where it wanted to be strongest: as a story about an unjust amoral judgment, about the failure of human faith and the rekindling of hope for its resurrection. Gibson relies only on the general idea that Jesus was a benevolent shepherd and that we must automatically pity him in his suffering, so he disregards any coherence of message and half-heartedly presents boring flashbacks or shocking physical torture that lasts unnaturally long and becomes the main motif of the entire film. And although I had a really big lump in my throat at the finale and watched the horror with bated breath, I don't understand why something like this was made in the first place. Or I do, for money, of course. The very idea and structure of the work are too simple and misleading to translate into something more historically and cinematically valuable or inspiring.

How the script was written: Patrick Magee is drinking with his buddy Jay Lee in his garage, watching the first King Kong movie. Patrick: “Bro, that was a great flick! We could also do something like that!” Jay raises an eyebrow and replies: “You mad? Today nobody gives a fuck about giant monkeys and the movies about it are worth shit. Last year’s crap with Loki was unwatchable. If anything, we should come up with some proper bullshit to attract as many people as possible.” Patrick: “What bullshit? I want to make art, I want people to be scared and... Jay interrupts him: “You know fuck all about that, you haven’t made anything. If we’re doing this, we need something really cool. DUDE, what about Bigfoot?!” Patrick: “What? Ain’t that from a fairytale?” Jay: “But ours will look like Predator, and will use bow and arrows. It’ll be awesome, bro!” Patrick: “OK, but I will direct, I want to try it.” Jay: “That will be something. Do you at least know what continuity means, or I don't know, cross-editing?" Patrick: “Fuck that! What we need is a lot of blood, a sex scene and some sequences in a car, like at the beginning of The Shining. Yeah, and you know what? In the main role we put some hot chick. Maybe our neighbour, she’s fine, she could do it. And the yeti will fall in love with her and will want to bone her, too.” Jay: “I’ve just said fuck King Kong, and you want to put some romance there?” Patrick: “Don’t worry. It’ll only fuck her and her old man will want revenge. And we must have an Indian sheriff. You know, all the racial stuff and shit... Maybe the shaman from Walker could be up for it. We could dedicate the movie to him and make the redskins happy.” Jay: “That’s cool, but how do we connect the story of Bigfoot with the Indians?” Patrick: “We can say it’s some sort of local legend and put a scene with a shamanic acid trip. That’ll have a fucking awesome atmosphere, bro!” Jay: “Fuck, dude. You want some witchcraft in there too?” Patrick: “Sure, why not? I didn’t think of that... But bro, it can’t be cheap. I want good make-up and stuff. Would you set me up? We’ll save on the actors. We can find some local rednecks and write them lines like for retards. And the hero should be at least a bit ripped, otherwise, whatever.” Jay: “Sure thing, bro. We’ll get a few bucks together. We’re in America, the best country in the world! And I’ll be your cameraman. I like that.” Patrick: “Awesome, dude! Let’s have another beer, catch a few winks and tomorrow we’ll write the script. I can already see it. We’ll be famous, bro!” Jay: “I’m horny for it already. We can’t go wrong if we stick to the tropes. And at the end we have to put some really shocking twist and also a post-credit scene, they’re very cool now. We’ll take care of that tomorrow.” I’m giving one star to this cute project only for the make-up effects and the unquestionable guilty pleasure load of the final act. Otherwise, terribly amateurish shit, and I’m compelled to believe in my fictional behind-the-scenes report.

One of the films I'd give anything to see in the cinema at the time of its release (or if I had a time machine, I'd just go round the premieres of these glorious blockbusters right after I'd been delighted by Helen of Troy). It's not perfect from a narrative standpoint, occasionally lingering on impressive visuals and leaving some of the plot with a question mark, but overall, it’s just a wonderful piece of adventure filmmaking that will never lose my deep favour. Harryhausen's much talked about effects are magical and simply vivid, and no film has been able to so compellingly portray ancient mythology and effortlessly bring together so many iconic mythical figures. And it doesn't have to be action-packed in the style of the moronic remake for the story to retain its dark tension and consistent atmosphere – the best example is the jellyfish passage, which wouldn't be out of place in Lord of the Rings. And Laurence Rosenthal composed one of the most beautiful film soundtracks... Deserved cult status. 85%

Although it's out of place, I can't avoid the comparison; as far as I’m concerned, Aliens is more creative and entertaining than the first one. Cameron is amazing, he elevated an already perfect space survival story to the ultimate polished and incredibly balanced action flick. In the manner of the original, it’s almost heart-attack inducingly suspenseful (you almost can't breathe during the sequence before the first contact with the monsters), but at the same time it's adrenaline-fuelled and superbly choreographed terror for film and computer geeks (so it's quite timeless), and still a prime example of how to use film space with maximum efficiency and how to work with characters in an action story where most of them have to gradually disappear, inventing a variety of traps in line with keeping the pace and delaying the climax in favour of a moment of surprise to the point of being outrageously sexy and cool. An amazing Weaver and a brilliant Henriksen. Together with The Dark Knight and T2, the best sequel ever.

Sure, it lacks the dark cynicism and balance of the previous episodes, and Joe Pesci will seem like completely redundant to some, but I just adore this series and its characters. I love how the relationships between them keep developing and transcending from film to film, and I adore the banter of the central duo, which is taken to the pinnacle of imaginable "buddy" fun right here (and, of course, in The Last Boy Scout, which still has a flagpole at the top and no one will ever climb higher). The ferocious barrage of funny dialogue never stops, Rene Russo fits in perfectly and takes Riggs just a little bit further, the detective storyline intersects with the personal one casually and seamlessly, and when the film wants to go dark temporarily in the style of its predecessors, it works (and gives the great Glover his due). And even Pesci is very funny again... I love it.