Goldbeater

A hotel, voyeurism, perversion. Private Parts is a very slow mystery-thriller directed by Paul Bartel and features nice camera work by Andrew Davis (who would become the director of The Fugitive). The middle of the movie drags a bit - early on in the movie there is a rather unexpected murder featuring a decapitated head, and then nothing happens for a long time except the ominous discovery of some dark recesses in an old hotel and its strange guests. It soon becomes a relatively light-hearted and original homage to Hitchcock's Psycho, with the pretty captivating score by Hugo Friedhofer. However, it does not provide any major shocks or real horror.

This is an unpretentious B-movie horror featuring three security robots, which break free of their constraints and start wiping out anyone they come across. It is a combination of everything the "low" genre has to offer - from a party with horny teenagers to one exceptionally cool headshot. In terms of plot, it is more or less average, but it is especially entertaining due to its constant references to pop culture: Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov reprise their roles from Eating Raoul at the beginning of the movie, Dick Miller reprises his role of outsider Walter Paisley from A Bucket of Blood, the central couple watches Corman's classic Attack of the Crab Monsters on TV, and, last but not least, in many scenes movie posters hang on the walls, for example, the director's debut The Lost Empire. Chopping Mall is built on coarse humor and fun pop culture references, without them, it is really just straight-up junk.

This is another amazingly stupid horror from the workshop of Bruno Mattei and Claudio Fragasso, who this time, try to convince us that rats keeping themselves to themselves and showing no interest in aggression are supposed to be murderous monsters, so at any moment a member of the crew throws them into a shot or pours buckets of them onto the heads of the actors (audiences who can not tolerate the careless treatment of animals in movies should avoid this movie). The real disgusting rats in this picture are the characters, who you would like to rid the world of. However, the speeches they give are real pearls - for example, the group discovers a heavily mutilated corpse and is surprised that it "shows no signs of violence". Also, you might not take anything away from this movie, except the line "computers and corpses just do not go together". However, you still will not have figured out what role the diabolical computer actually played in the movie.

This is a typical New World Pictures B-movie about a nonsensical car race, in which you would need a magnifying glass to find some semblance of logic. However, the real way this movie differs is the slight nuances with the parts of the supporting actors - in addition to the usual actors Roger Corman's production company would normally use, Corman himself plays a District Attorney, the directing duo Allan Arkush and Joe Dante play two young car mechanics, and Jonathan Kaplan is an all-night gas station attendant. The biggest treat in store for audiences, however, is the scene where there is a short meeting, in which director Paul Bartel himself shares a bucket from KFC with Martin Scorsese and Sylvester Stallone playing mafiosos. This is an entertaining slapstick comedy, which although is not as good as Bartel's previous movie Death Race 2000, is still greatly entertaining.

This is a pleasant Christmas fairy tale. This type of drama-comedy, where two people from different walks of life are forced to learn from each other and rethink their attitudes, is probably always a sure-fire hit. It seems quite superficial and there is no real drama in the whole movie, however, it is still an all-around positive and relaxing movie with the great Viggo Mortensen, whose third Oscar nomination I would like to finally change into an actual award.

Pyromaniac insects are a tricky problem. This  very bizarre, but relatively promising and interesting subject matter is let down by the woefully slow pacing of the narrative. One hundred minutes is really too much for this type of B-movie, especially when it really only gets going in the last five minutes. Do not expect any devastating insect-made inferno. This was the last movie from the workshop of the legendary William Castle, which could have been much better, but it still can be an unforgettable experience for entomophobics, I guess.

With this movie, Cirio H. Santiago could have easily aspired to be the Filipino Ed Wood. This is hard-to-evaluate trash, in which everything is terrible except for the song playing over the end credits, which will leave you singing  in your head for days after: "Vampire Hookers ... and blood is not all they suck!" Other unforgettable highlights are also a farting manservant played by Vic Diaz, extras staring blankly into the camera, and probably the dumbest climax someone could have thought up.

This is a relatively tame horror movie about a group of war veterans infected with a virus that turns them into cannibals. It is a respectably well-made movie but has almost no horror atmosphere, and with only a handful of gory scenes (at the end, however, there is a well-filmed bit where a person is shot in the chest and subsequently, the camera goes through them). John Saxon’s performance is indispensable and carries the movie, it would have been really poor without him.

This is a very unsophisticated B-movie, which wraps elements of science fiction around a lifeless plot about a wealthy woman, who has a morally deficient husband that just wants to get rid of her. Basically, it is just a very extreme example of how much worse a marital crisis can get when aliens get involved.

In principle, this movie is difficult to rate. It is an amazing example of a sloppy production, which is immensely entertaining. Bruno Mattei and Claudio Fragasso made a trashy derivation of Dawn of the Dead, copying what they could, and blindly made a movie based around stock footage taken from documentaries about New Guinea. Ninety per cent of the music by Goblin was also reappropriated from Dawn of the Dead. The screenplay is at times pointless to a ridiculous, and almost unbearable extent. The audience should be grateful that although the acting performances are wooden, they are however also frenzied. The editing is downright awful and the continuity of individual scenes, even partial shots, seems to be completely missing at times (it is funny to read in the end credits that two people were in charge of continuity during the making of the movie). Well, in short, everything about this movie is bad - yet so enchantingly so, that it makes you laugh, possibly from astonishment at how awful it is. I highly recommend watching this with a bunch of friends, it is something to look forward to!