Goldbeater

Hooper's modest slasher movie set in an amusement park, will convince you that it’s not advisable to go on dark rides, especially if they have physically deformed men inside. In the first five minutes, The Funhouse starts off with a relatively playful tribute to the movies Halloween and Psycho, but then unfortunately starts to drag its heels with a very slow pace and it takes a good half of the movie before any real horror happens. Moreover, the horror action doesn’t really bring anything new or innovative to the table, given it‘s the year 1981. Tobe Hooper has far more entertaining entries in his filmography. It is interesting that The Funhouse, despite zero gore and no explicit content, got on the well-known list of so-called “video nasties”, instead of the now-infamous Last House on Dead End Street, as that movie had been released under the alternative title The Fun House and British censors oddly confused them and put the wrong movie on the list. Amateurs.

This movie stands and falls on the idea of "inverse Superman" – that’s literally all that Brightburn has to offer. Its plot develops in a completely predictable way without any major twists or surprises. With a dull to out of place cast (Elizabeth Banks) and sterile directing, even ninety minutes is extremely long. Michael Rooker and his cliffhanger already quite seriously gave the impression that the would-be sequel would be pointless.

Falling in love usually hurts. Takashi Miike knew how to hit a sensitive nerve, quite literally in several of the scenes here. The perfect movie for Valentine's Day.

After two years, I went back to the sci-fi theme that I saw in the original 1953 movie, and I must say that I did not find much justification for the creation of this remake. Tobe Hooper faithfully copies the plot premise of the original with great visual charm, but apart from numerous references to the original movie, it does not add anything new to the story, on the contrary, it faithfully preserves even the worst part of the movie (i.e. the ending). Perhaps the appearance of the Martians is the only thing that’s a little different, yet similarly as in the original movie, inadvertently funny. This movie, apparently very close to Hooper’s heart, caused a big headache for the production duo Golan/Globus at the time of its making. After watching this movie and also Hooper's Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 from the same year, they began to tear their hair out regarding the crazy projects they had actually invested in. Of course, they never got anything back from their investment. Tobe Hooper did not really make much money for Cannon, but he created at least three relatively interesting and bizarre megalomaniac projects, at least one of which is top notch quality in my eyes.

I, Madman is a stylishly filmed horror fairy story riding on the wave of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies (no wonder – screenwriter David Chaskin is screenwriter of Freddy’s Revenge). In this movie, however, the disfigured killer does not come into the real world through dreams, but through reading a cursed book. I, Madman is, from a technical point of view, a very respectable and well-made fantasy horror movie, but the plot is largely predictable and, for example, literally one step behind the audience during the last half hour. So, the tension didn't build and work at all for me. Nevertheless, it is definitely an interesting enterprise with a respectably dreamlike atmosphere and a charming main heroine.

A crazy movie which on one hand features the distinctive charisma of the main performer Rudy Ray Moore, but on the other hand also shows creative enthusiasm triumphing over its unequivocal amateurism. In terms of plot and craftsmanship, Dolemite is really only held together by a sheer force of will, but as a trashy blaxploitation movie, it does have quite a strong potential to entertain with its naivety because there are many things to laugh about – from the completely wooden acting performances (especially R. R. Moore), through to a totally nonchalant approach to directing (the majority of the scenes were in all probability a good first take). Then there is the slapdash camerawork (the microphones of the sound engineers can be seen in almost every shot) and completely stupid editing. Today, this B-movie is considered a comedy, but I doubt that it was the original intention of the creators, which makes its amateurism even more amusing. Some scenes and catch-phrases could be etched into stone.

The fact is that this movie was supposed to be a magnificent end to the entire X-Men saga. However, it is more like a slow and sleepy piece that fizzes out as an empty exercise. Entrusting the final movie of the series to a skilled screenwriter but completely inexperienced director Simon Kinberg probably reaped its own reward. Without any exaggeration, it could not be duller and more tired if it tried. This is a movie that will leave you completely indifferent and with the feeling you have been robbed.

When the song Runaway Train by Soul Asylum was playing on the radio a few days ago, I thought I might as well rewatch the adventure movie of the same name. This is a movie in which you will essentially feel all the frostbite and fingers crushed by iron, which transforms the usual premise of a prison escape into an original "survival movie"; with a runaway armoured train and a very memorable manic performance by Jon Voight in the lead role and great Eric Roberts and Rebecca De Mornay in supporting roles. With the unconventional direction of Andrey Konchalovskiy and the original screenplay by Akira Kurosawa, this Cannon Films production feels like revelation. This is a stylish and chilling action movie that really gets under your skin.

Jade is a respectable thriller that starts off full of promise, under the skillful direction of William Friedkin. However, the movie also has screenwriter Joe Eszterhas who once again goes for his own particular style of erotic thriller, such as his successful movie Basic Instinct. In fact, this movie has a fairly ordinary "murder mystery" storyline, but the plot, unfortunately, fails to establish itself as a believable movie, let alone enhance the audience's experience with some surprise or innovation. Director Friedkin was able to spice up the movie with at least a few suspenseful scenes and stylishly shot action, however, all his efforts end up in vain at the very last minute, because the ending looks like the screenwriter wrote a conclusion that was only one of several alternative endings he came up with and lacks all credibility.

In Mandoras (a fictional South American country,) there is a group of military fanatics who intend to release a deadly gas and bring destruction to the entire world. To make matters worse, behind it is the head of Adolf Hitler himself, who, after losing World War Two, has been preserved in a glass jar. Then, one of the most bizarre adventure movies in history begins. What can I add further? It is a really horrifying spectacle, in all the meanings of the word. In essence, the unfinished movie offers a completely garbage story with a totally unsatisfactory execution. By some chance, the first-class cameraman Stanley Cortez (The Magnificent Ambersons, The Secret Beyond the Door, The Bridge at Remagen) showed up to work on this movie, but that's all really because otherwise there are just dreadful actors, a paltry screenplay, and questionable directing. What's more, even the cracklingly funny potential is not fully exploited! Hitler's head hardly speaks throughout the whole movie for an unknown reason (except for the only phrase: "Mach schnell! Mach schnell!"  – the screenwriter probably didn't know any more German). As Joe Dante said, "It may not even be the best movie about Hitler's head in a glass jar," but this garbage has a certain charm and is definitely worth seeing. If you are a fan of obscure B-movies, that is.